Bonus Materials (Unlockable Content)

BONUS MATERIALS (UNLOCKABLE CONTENT)

For those who read the fine print

THE QR CODES TO NOWHERE

[QR CODE 1]

Scan this code to access:

• Rick Astley (the eternal return)
• A profound teaching (the rick roll IS the teaching)
• Disappointment (expected)
• Joy (unexpected)

The first QR code is always a rick roll. This is sacred tradition.

[QR CODE 2] 📱

Scan this code to access:

• Your own camera (the void looks back)
• A mirror (the real chaos was you all along)
• Confusion (why would we do this?)
• Understanding (oh, THAT'S why)

This QR code literally just opens your camera. You're looking at yourself. That's the teaching.

[QR CODE 3] 📱

Scan this code to access:

• A meditation app (that will monetize your peace)
• Calm, but capitalist
• Headspace, but make it surveillance
• Inner peace™ (available for $99.99/year)

This is a real meditation app. We're not saying which one. They're all guilty.

[QR CODE 4] 📱

Scan this code to access:

• The actual Discordian forum (it's worse than you think)
• Chaos agents arguing about chaos
• Greg (somehow he's there too)
• The realization that community is messy

[QR CODE 5] 📱

Scan this code to access:

• A link that expired in 2015
• The 404 page is the teaching
• Time is a flat circle
• Nothing on the internet is permanent (except the things you want deleted)

http://principiadiscordia.com/chaos - (probably dead, who knows)

DELETED SCENES

Scenes that didn't make the final cut:

1. "The Parable of the WiFi Password"

   • Too specific to one era
   • Also, we forgot it

2. "Greg's Origin Story"

   • Nobody cares about Greg
   • Except Greg

3. "Extended Meditation on Blockchain"

   • It aged poorly immediately
   • Eris prefers proof-of-chaos over proof-of-work

4. "The Chapter About NFTs"

• What even happened there
  • We don't talk about that anymore

5. "Sincere Discussion of Politics"

   • Made it too serious
   • Deleted before the discourse started

6. "The Section On Quantum Mechanics"

   • Too sciencey
   • Also we don't really understand quantum mechanics
   • But neither does anyone so

ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS (CHOOSE YOUR OWN)

ENDING A: Pessimistic

Everything is chaos.

Nothing matters.

We're all going to die.

The universe is cold and uncaring.

Entropy wins.

But hey, at least you read a funny book.

ENDING B: Optimistic

Everything is chaos.

Which means anything is possible!

The universe is full of wonder!

You're alive in the most interesting timeline!

Make it count!

ENDING C: Balanced

Everything is chaos.

Sometimes that's terrible.

Sometimes that's wonderful.

Usually it's both.

Keep going anyway.

ENDING D: Meta

You just read a book about chaos.

None of it matters.

All of it matters.

You get to choose.

That's the teaching.

ENDING E: Greg

Greg wins.

Nobody knows how.

Greg doesn't even know.

But Greg wins.

All Hail Greg.

THE ACTUAL URL THAT EXPIRED

www.discordianism-real-definitely-not-fake.com/truth/actual/real/no-seriously

Error 404: Enlightenment Not Found

This domain expired in 2008 and was bought by a crypto scammer in 2017. Such is the way of the internet. The impermanence is the teaching. Also, don't click on random links. We're not responsible for what's there now.

MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR DELETED CONTENT

A moment of silence for content that didn't make it:

[30 seconds of silence]

[Which you can't actually experience while reading]

[The irony is not lost on us]

Thank you for your imaginary silence.

The deleted content is at peace.

(It's in the drafts folder.)

(It haunts us.)

(Especially the Greg chapter.)

THE GENUINE HEARTFELT THANK YOU

(No, really, this one is real)

Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for engaging with the chaos.

Thank you for questioning things.

Thank you for laughing (hopefully).

Thank you for thinking (definitely).

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for being weird.

Thank you for being you.

You didn't have to read this.

You did anyway.

That means something.

What it means, we're not sure.

But it means something.

So thank you.

Sincerely.

No irony.

Okay maybe a little.

But mostly sincere.