Preface to Book Three

PREFACE TO BOOK THREE

Every religion needs prayers.

Ways to communicate with the divine.

Rituals of devotion.

Words to speak when you don't have your own words.

Discordianism has these too. They're just... different.

Our prayers are:

• Addressed to a goddess who may or may not be listening
• Focused on very mundane problems
• Sometimes sincere, sometimes satirical, always both
• Often typed on phones at 3 AM
• Frequently interrupted by notifications
• Occasionally answered (or are they?)

Our hymns are:

• Sung off-key
• Parodies of traditional hymns
• Earnest expressions of digital-age spirituality
• Best performed in the shower or car
• Never performed in actual churches (we're banned)

Our poetry is:

• About microplastics
• About being ghosted
• About the futility of meal planning
• Sometimes beautiful
• Sometimes terrible
• Usually both

The memes are scripture.

We're not joking about that last one.

Well, we are joking.

But we're also serious.

Let us pray. (Or whatever the chaos equivalent is.)

Eris is typing...

Finally, a religion that acknowledges I'm probably not paying attention. Refreshing, honestly.