Discordian Saints

Hung Mung

Five Star Saint • Patron of the Season of Chaos • Holyday: January 5 (Mungday)

A Sage of Ancient China described as the “Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinese.” Hung Mung is credited with devising the Sacred Chao symbol—the Discordian answer to the yin-yang, featuring a golden apple and a pentagon. His name is a playful nod to Hundun (混沌), the Chinese mythological embodiment of primordial chaos.

Dr. Van Van Mojo

Five Star Saint • Patron of the Season of Discord • Holyday: March 19 (Mojoday)

“A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls.” Dr. Van Van Mojo holds absurdist credentials including D.H.V. (Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes) and F.I.H.G.W.P. (Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace). His elaborate title system parodies academic credentialism while celebrating the mystical traditions the Western academy has historically dismissed.

Sri Syadasti

Five Star Saint • Patron of the Season of Confusion • Holyday: May 31 (Syaday)

Bears the elaborate Sanskrit name “Sri Syadasti Syadavaktavya Syadasti Syannasti Syadasti Cavaktavyasca…” meaning roughly “all affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense.” The Principia notes he “should not be confused with Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle”—a characteristic Discordian paradox drawn from the Jain philosophical concept of Syādvāda.

Zarathud the Incorrigible

Five Star Saint • Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy • Holyday: August 12 (Zaraday)

Also called “Zarathud the Staunch,” he was a “hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe” who discovered the Five Commandments (the Pentabarf) and earned the title “Offender of The Faith.” His name echoes Zarathustra, but where Nietzsche’s prophet descended a mountain with grave pronouncements, Zarathud presumably tripped on the way down and discovered enlightenment in the fall.

Malaclypse the Elder (Mal-1)

Five Star Saint • Patron of the Season of The Aftermath • Holyday: October 24 (Maladay)

“A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania” who followed a five-pointed star through Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, and other cities bearing a sign that “seemed to read ‘DOOM’” but actually read “DUMB.” He serves as the namesake patron of founder Greg Hill (Malaclypse the Younger), establishing a lineage of sacred confusion stretching from the ancient world to a bowling alley in Whittier, California.

Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned

One of Discordianism’s most distinctive saints, explicitly described in the Principia as “the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach.”

The name involves a deliberate double meaning—both the insect and cannabis slang for a joint end. St. Gulik appears in “A Sermon on Ethics and Love” and “The Parable of the Bitter Tea” where “Hypoc was meditating with St. Gulik.”

According to Discordian lore, all roaches are manifestations of St. Gulik, and stepping on cockroaches releases “Spiritual Insight and Growth.” He also “should not be confused with” Sri Syadasti, “who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.”

Greg Hill (Malaclypse the Younger)

1941–2000 • “Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold” • High Priest of POEE

The primary author of the Principia Discordia and co-founder of Discordianism. Hill spent his life as a technical writer while developing Discordian philosophy on the side—or perhaps the other way around. He occupied a position within the House of Apostles of Eris, which includes “Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages.”

He was admitted to the Order of the Pineapple on January 18, 1994. He maintained a sense of humor about his creation while also taking its philosophical implications seriously—a balance that defines Discordianism itself.

Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst)

1938–1998 • “Grand Ballyhoo of Egypt of the Orthodox Discordian Society”

Co-founder of Discordianism and author of Zenarchy. Thornley accumulated absurdist titles including “Ancient Abbreviated Calif. of California” and authored “The Honest Book of Truth,” making him a prophet figure.

His life took a strange turn when his acquaintance with Lee Harvey Oswald (they served together in the Marines) led to involvement in JFK assassination investigations. He once noted that since he remained on Mormon church rolls (Latter Day Saints), he was already technically a “Saint” before Hill could object. Admitted to the Order of the Pineapple on January 18, 1994.

Robert Anton Wilson (“Pope Bob”)

1932–2007 • Episkopos, Pope, and Saint of Discordianism • a.k.a. “Mordecai the Foul”

The only founder explicitly documented with triple recognition as “Episkopos, Pope, and Saint of Discordianism.” Called “Pope Bob” by both Discordians and the Church of the SubGenius, Wilson joined the movement in 1967 when he met Hill and Thornley. He co-authored The Illuminatus! Trilogy and founded the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.) sect.

His “guerrilla ontology” encouraged people to question their assumptions about reality—a core Discordian principle. His birthday, January 18, coincides with Pat Pineapple Day.

Joshua Abraham Norton

c. 1818–1880 • “Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico”

The only real person explicitly named in the original Principia Discordia. Norton holds the title “Saint Second Class”—the highest rank attainable by an actual human. The Principia describes him as Eris’s “Only Begotten Son” who “made insanity work for him and proved that reality is what you can get away with.”

Norton lived in San Francisco, self-proclaimed as Emperor, and issued currency that merchants actually accepted—because, as the Illuminatus! Trilogy notes, “he was so crazy that people humored him.” Page 00014 of the Principia features his self-issued currency, and his grave in Colma, California (Woodlawn Cemetery) is designated an official POEE shrine.

Inducted into the Order of the Pineapple in 2022, alongside Mary “Minnie Rae” Simpson, a “Saint Prostitute” whom Norton himself had named “The Little Countess.”

St. Bokonon

Brigadier Saint • From Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

The founder of Bokononism, a religion based on foma—“harmless untruths.” Bokonon taught that all religions (including his own) are built on lies, but that some lies help people live brave and kind lives. His philosophy mirrors Discordianism’s playful relationship with belief itself. As Brigadier Saint, he holds the second-highest rank, just below the Apostles.

St. Quixote

Lieutenant Saint • From Don Quixote by Cervantes

The knight-errant who tilted at windmills, mistaking them for giants. Don Quixote embodies the Discordian ideal of choosing your own reality and living by it with total commitment, regardless of what “consensus reality” might insist. An “Excellent Goddess-Saturated” figure who proves that conviction matters more than accuracy.

St. Yossarian

Lance Saint • From Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

The bombardier who recognized the ultimate absurdity: the very institutions designed to protect him were trying to kill him, and any attempt to escape proved he was sane enough to keep fighting. Yossarian is the patron saint of everyone trapped in a bureaucratic paradox—which is to say, everyone. His sainthood is a reminder that sometimes the sanest response to an insane situation is to refuse to play along.

St. John the Martyr (John Dillinger)

1903–1934 • Holyday: July 22 (John Dillinger Day) • Patron of the John Dillinger Died For You Society

Bank robber martyred by FBI agents outside Chicago’s Biograph Theater. His teaching: “Lie down on the floor and keep calm.” The John Dillinger Died For You Society was founded in 1966 and holds annual vigils at the Biograph. Dillinger’s canonization reflects the Discordian admiration for those who challenge institutional authority with style—even when the institutions shoot back.

St. Hunter S. Thompson

1937–2005 • Creator of Gonzo Journalism

The father of gonzo journalism—a style that obliterated the boundary between reporter and story, objective and subjective, sane and otherwise. Thompson’s commitment to chaos as a journalistic method and his life as a walking Operation Mindfuck made his canonization inevitable. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

St. Edward the Spectacularly Bad (Ed Wood)

1924–1978 • Patron of Unintentional Cinematic Surrealism

Canonized for “unintentional cinematic surrealism.” The filmmaker behind Plan 9 from Outer Space achieved through sheer incompetence what the Surrealists spent decades trying to manufacture deliberately. His unwavering enthusiasm in the face of universal criticism embodies the Discordian virtue of doing your thing regardless of what reality thinks about it.

St. William “Bill” Hicks

1961–1994 • Stand-Up Prophet

The comedian who treated stand-up as a vehicle for philosophical demolition. Hicks dismantled consensus reality from club stages across America, wielding absurdity as a weapon against complacency. His comedy was Operation Mindfuck performed live, nightly, for audiences who didn’t always realize what was happening to them.

St. Richard Feynman

1918–1988 • “Theoretical Physicist, Samba Player, Merry Prankster, Safe Cracker”

Nobel laureate who cracked safes at Los Alamos, played bongo drums in a samba band, decoded Mayan hieroglyphics for fun, and insisted that the pleasure of finding things out mattered more than the things themselves. His description of quantum mechanics—“If you think you understand it, you don’t understand it”—could be a Discordian koan.

Cantor Yankovic (St. Weird Al)

b. 1959 • Composer of Discordian Hymns

Honored for “Discordian hymns” like “Everything You Know Is Wrong”—a title that doubles as Discordian theological doctrine. For over four decades, Yankovic has practiced a form of sacred parody, using humor to deconstruct popular culture from within. His title “Cantor” (a singer of liturgical music) acknowledges his role as the preeminent musician of Discordian worship.

St. PTerry (Sir Terry Pratchett)

1948–2015 • Knight of Discworld

Canonized for the Discworld series, which built an entire flat world on the back of a turtle and filled it with more philosophical insight per page than most actual philosophy books manage in their entirety. Pratchett’s work embodies the Discordian principle that humor is the highest form of wisdom, and that a joke told well enough becomes indistinguishable from prophecy.

St. Gaga (Lady Gaga)

b. 1986 • Pioneer of Discordian Fashion Trends

Canonized for “pioneering Discordian fashion trends”—a diplomatic way of saying she wore a meat dress to an awards show and made the entire world question the nature of clothing. Her commitment to perpetual reinvention and refusal to be categorized channels pure Erisian energy through pop music’s most visible stage.

St. Brad Carter (RBCP)

b. 1977 • Telecommunications Trickster • Prophet of the Snow Plow Show • Phone Losers of America

The patron saint of prank calls, Brad Carter—known as RBCP—founded the Phone Losers of America in 1994, transforming the telephone system into an instrument of Operation Mindfuck decades before social media made chaos convenient. From his desert stronghold in Roy, New Mexico, he hosts The Snow Plow Show, a prank call podcast that has been spreading confusion through the phone lines since 2012. Carter’s FBI raid, federal sentencing, and continued defiance confirm what Discordians have always known: the telephone is a sacred relic, and every wrong number is a sermon.