Discordianism Decompiled · Book Eight · Chapter 2 of 8
The Secret Teachings (Posted Publicly on Reddit)
THE SECRET TEACHINGS (POSTED PUBLICLY ON REDDIT)
Enlightenment in the comment section
Every esoteric tradition has secret teachings—knowledge passed down through initiates, hidden from the masses, available only to those who have proven themselves worthy.
Discordianism has secret teachings too. We post them publicly on Reddit. Where they get downvoted, argued about, and eventually buried under hundreds of other posts.
This is the proper way to hide sacred knowledge: in plain sight, where no one will take it seriously.
THE ORIGINAL POST (DELETED)
After years of study, meditation, and scrolling through this subreddit at 3 AM, I have finally unlocked the deepest wisdom of Discordianism.
Are you ready?
Here it is:
[deleted]
THE COMMENT SECTION (THE REAL TEACHING)
Can't believe OP deleted this, it was genuinely profound. I screenshot it and it's now my phone wallpaper.
Can you share the screenshot? I came here after it was deleted.
No, that would ruin the teaching. The teaching is that it's deleted.
That's gatekeeping.
Maybe. But gatekeeping the gateless is very Discordian.
I disagree with what OP said. This is why this community is dying. We need to get back to the ORIGINAL Principia and stop making up new doctrine.
Making up new doctrine is literally what the original Principia was. It was made up. By people. Who explicitly said to make up your own stuff. You're advocating for dogmatic adherence to anti-dogmatism.
That's not what I'm saying at all. You're misinterpreting my comment.
>> I disagree with what OP said. This is why this community is dying. We need to get back to the ORIGINAL Principia and stop making up new doctrine.
Yes it is.
We're talking past each other. I'm done with this thread.
[erisdidnothingwrong continues posting in the thread for 3 more days]
What did it say? I'm new here and trying to understand Discordianism.
You had to be there.
But I wasn't there. Can someone explain?
The fact that you can't know what it said IS the teaching. You're experiencing it right now. Congratulations, you're enlightened.
I feel like you're messing with me.
Yes. That's also the teaching.
The real teaching is that OP deleted it. Think about it:
- The teaching was posted (creation)
- The teaching was read by some (revelation)
- The teaching was deleted (destruction)
- The teaching lives on in memory and debate (resurrection)
- We're all arguing about what it meant (theology)
- No one will ever know the truth (enlightenment)
Or OP just accidentally posted something dumb and deleted it out of embarrassment, and we're reading way too much into it.
Those are the same thing.
I saved the original post before it was deleted. Here's what it actually said:
[The comment continues with a 500-word explanation that is clearly made up and contradicts itself multiple times]
That's not what it said at all. I was there. It was completely different.
Prove it.
I can't, it's deleted. But neither can you. So we're both right and both wrong.
This is why I love this subreddit.
Guys, I'm back. I didn't delete anything. It says [deleted] because that's the teaching.
The teaching is: [deleted]
You understand, right?
Wait, so the [deleted] was intentional? You formatted it to look deleted but it was always part of the post?
Yes.
Also no.
Also I actually did delete it and I'm lying to you now.
Also I'm telling the truth.
Also does it matter?
Holy shit. This is advanced Discordianism.
Locking this thread. Y'all can't behave.
The thread isn't actually locked though?
Correct. But the threat of locking is enough. The potential for order creates its own kind of chaos. This is the mod's koan.
Is anyone still here?
Always. The thread never dies. Eris is eternal. The teaching continues.
Also I have literally no memory of making the original post.
COMMENTARY ON THE REDDIT SCRIPTURE
From the Discordian Council of Extremely Online Elders:
The Reddit teaching demonstrates several key principles:
The teaching is in the absence of the teaching
What was deleted matters less than the fact of deletion.Collective interpretation creates meaning
The comment section became more valuable than the original post.Truth is negotiated, not discovered
Multiple contradictory accounts coexist, all claiming accuracy.The archive is sacred
We revere what we cannot verify.Discourse is worship
Arguing about meaning is how we create meaning.The thread never dies
Even locked threads continue in our hearts and minds.The teaching teaches itself through our confusion
Incomprehension is enlightenment.
Sacred Lesson:
The secret teaching was posted publicly, deleted immediately, remembered incorrectly, debated endlessly, never resolved.
This is how all wisdom works.
The only difference is that we're honest about it.
Hail Eris, Goddess of the Comment Section.
This.