The Ritual of the Reinstalled App

🔄

The Ritual™

Eris Enterprises, LLC

★★★★☆ 4.2 · 23K Ratings

#1 in Self-Deception · Lifestyle

REINSTALL

Previously Deleted

✅ "I'm done
with this app"

🤔 "Maybe just
one more look"

🔄 "I knew I'd
be back"

🧘 "This time
will be different"

In-App Purchases

Your Attention

Consumable

Free*

*also priceless

Peace of Mind

Non-Renewable

$∞.99

Sense of Self

Previously Purchased

Refund Denied

Sleep Schedule

Auto-Renewable

Subscription Lapsed

Productivity

One-Time Purchase

Unavailable

What's New Version ∞.0

A ceremony of failure, acceptance, and cyclical behavior. To be performed whenever you reinstall an app you swore you'd deleted forever.

I. THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Stand before your phone. (Sit is also acceptable. Lying down is understandable.) Open your app store. Search for the app you said you'd never reinstall.

Say aloud:

"I told myself I was done. I told myself I was better than this. I told myself I didn't need this. I was lying to myself. Or I was telling a truth that lasted only briefly. Either way, I am here again. And that's okay."

II. THE REMEMBRANCE OF REASONS

Before you tap "Install," remember why you deleted it in the first place.

Speak the reasons:

"I deleted this app because: It wasted my time · It made me anxious · It made me angry · It made me feel inadequate · It made me compare myself to others · It kept me from sleeping · It filled me with dread · It was addictive · It was toxic · It was a time-sink. These reasons are still true."

III. THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF NEED

Now speak why you're reinstalling it:

"I am reinstalling this app because: I need to check something · I need to contact someone · I miss the connection · I miss the content · I'm bored · I'm lonely · I'm avoiding something else · I want to see what I'm missing · Everyone else is there · I've forgotten why I left. These reasons are also true."

IV. THE ACCEPTANCE

Place your thumb over the "Install" button. Do not press yet.

"I accept that I am not perfect. I accept that I am not strong. I accept that I am human. I accept that addiction is real. I accept that society is structured to keep me engaged. I accept that resistance is hard. I accept that I am reinstalling this app. I accept that I may delete it again. I accept that I may reinstall it again after that. I accept the cycle."

V. THE INSTALLATION

🔄

Installing... This is a meditation.

Press "Install." Watch the progress bar. The app downloads. Bit by bit, it returns to your life. You did not resist. You gave in. This is not failure. This is honesty.

VI. THE FIRST OPEN

The app is installed. The icon sits on your home screen, innocent and familiar.

"I open this app with awareness. I know what I'm doing. I'm choosing this. I'm not pretending it's necessary. I'm not pretending it's healthy. I'm just... choosing this. And I will notice how it makes me feel."

VII. THE SCROLL

Screen Time · Self-Knowledge Metrics

Dopamine Hit

0:03

Anxiety

0:12

Forgot Why

0:45

Automatic

2:00

This is not judgment. This is data. This is self-knowledge.

VIII. THE SETTING OF INTENTIONS

After the first session, close the app. (If you can. It's okay if you can't yet.)

"I will use this app differently than before. Or I won't. I will set boundaries. Or I won't. I will be mindful. Or I won't. I will try. That's all I can do."

IX. THE OPTIONAL BOUNDARIES

If you want to set boundaries (and you should, but you might not, and that's also information):

⏱ Time limits (Screen Time) Recommended

🔕 Notification limits Recommended

🌙 Do Not Disturb schedules Optional

🧹 Curate your feed Optional

📱 Grayscale mode Advanced

📂 Last page of apps Advanced

🗑 Delete again after [TBD] Unlikely

Or just be honest that you won't set boundaries. Honesty is the boundary.

X. THE CYCLE ACKNOWLEDGMENT

"This is not the first time. This may not be the last time. I have deleted and reinstalled before. I may delete and reinstall again. This is the cycle. The cycle of trying and failing. The cycle of boundaries and breaking them. The cycle of intention and addiction. I live in this cycle. This is human."

XI. THE CLOSING MEDITATION

Sit with your phone in your hand. Feel its weight. This device contains:

Connection Information Entertainment Distraction Community Loneliness Everything Nothing

It is not good or evil. It is a tool you cannot put down.

"I am holding a device that has more power than the computers that sent humans to the moon. I am using it to look at pictures of people I don't know. This is neither tragic nor comic. This is just what is."

XII. THE PERMISSION

Grant yourself permission:

Use this app● On

Not use this app● On

Delete it again● On

Reinstall it again● On

Feel guilty about it● On

Not feel guilty about it● On

Try and fail● On

Fail and try● On

Be imperfect● On

Be human● On

I give myself permission to exist in the contradiction.

XIII. THE VOW

Optional and probably temporary

If you want to make a vow (knowing you might break it):

"I vow to: Notice my usage · Set boundaries (maybe) · Delete when it becomes harmful (probably) · Reinstall when loneliness/boredom/need strikes (definitely) · Not judge myself too harshly · Keep trying · Touch grass occasionally · Remember this is all made up and nothing matters but also everything matters."

This vow lasts as long as it lasts.

XIV. THE CLOSING

Place the phone down. (Or don't. You'll probably start scrolling immediately.)

"The ritual is complete. The app is installed. The cycle continues.
Hail Eris, goddess of the reinstalled app.
Hail Discordia, which is my relationship with technology.
May I be gentle with myself. May I be honest. May I try.
Amen, or whatever."

Ratings & Reviews

4.2

★★★★☆

23K Ratings

★★★★★ Deleted 3 times, always come back

CycleOfShame2024 · 2 days ago

Performed the ritual this time. Cried a little. 10/10 would reinstall again.

★★★☆☆ The vow lasted 3 hours

HonestAboutIt · 1 week ago

Step VIII says "set intentions." My intention was to be mindful. I was mindful for approximately one bathroom break. Still, the awareness counts. Right? RIGHT?

★★★★★ Capitalism IS the enemy

TouchGrassEventually · 3 weeks ago

Step XII where all the permissions are "On" broke me. We really do just toggle everything to yes and keep scrolling. Hail Eris.

Developer Response

You will delete the app again. You will reinstall it again. This is not failure. This is the cycle of trying.

The person who deletes once and never returns is a myth. The person who never struggles is a lie. You are in the cycle. Everyone is in the cycle. The ritual honors this truth.

Some spiritual practices are about transcendence. This one is about acceptance. You're not transcending your phone addiction. You're accepting it. You're noticing it. You're being honest about it. And that's enough. That's actually everything.

Frequently Asked Koans

Q: If you delete an app in the forest and no one sees you do it, are you still virtuous?

A: No. Because you'll reinstall it when you get reception.

Q: If you reinstall an app after deleting it, have you failed?

A: No. You've participated in being human.

Q: If you perform this ritual every time, does it matter?

A: Yes. The ritual is the awareness. The awareness is the practice.

App Privacy

The developer indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy.

📍 Data Used to Track You

The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:

Emotional State Self-Worth Assessment Scrolling Velocity 3 AM Vulnerability Index Boredom Threshold

👤 Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

Usage Patterns Reinstall History Broken Promises Existential Dread Levels Comparison Frequency Willpower Depletion Rate

🚫 Data Not Collected

The following data is not collected:

Inner Peace (unavailable) Genuine Satisfaction (not found) Lasting Contentment (404)

Information

Provider Eris Enterprises, LLC

Size Larger Than You Think

Category Self-Deception → Lifestyle

Compatibility All Humans (unfortunately)

Languages All, including 3 AM self-talk

Age Rating 4+ (hurts from 13+)

Price Free (you are the product)

Supports

👪

Family Sharing

Up to six family members can share this existential crisis.

📱

Screen Time

This app will ignore your Screen Time limits. You know it. We know it.

🔒

Siri & Search

“Hey Siri, why did I reinstall this?” — Siri has no answer. Neither do you.